4 steps to stimulate the Chemistry of Curiosity:
Why aren’t we curious about subjects (or people) we don’t like?
Here is why we aren’t in control of our curiosity as much as our leaders may ask of us.
I remember a very awkward conversation with a close family member who instructed my wife to shake off her deep, long term mental ill-health and straighten herself out.
We simply cannot “shake off” an embedded way of thinking, the way we think produces brain chemistry that impacts the way we perceive the world. Base assumptions from historical experiences inform how we perceive others, their motives, our motives.
What was needed was to explore the reasons why and to find a way to untangle deep-rooted thoughts that touched all aspects of her thinking. “Reprogram” her brain to think her way out of it. If I can’t change the way you think, I can’t change your behaviour!
It is personal, experiential, and rewiring your brain takes time and a lot of energy. It is also scary.
Curiosity is also personal, experiential, and closely linked to purpose and meaning.
Thoughts produce brain chemistry, chemistry drives our emotions and our behaviour.
If you’re stuck in a loop of dark thoughts and the emotional distress that it creates, it is hard to change the pattern without help. Your brain chemistry and underlying assumptions hold you “here”, so you can’t change behavior until you address the underlying thinking.
Underlying assumptions of how the world works influence what we perceive, we filter out things that don’t fit with our world view, we notice things that validate our beliefs or, importantly for curiosity, help us add more value to our lives.
You can’t instruct nor can you command curiosity.
We are pleased to see Leadership interested in the concept of curiosity. However, it doesn't work when Leaders instruct their organization to “be curious” about other departments, to be curious about what they do and how they contribute. That approach isn’t delivering.
Why? We can’t simply shake off unhelpful or harmful past experiences. We don’t want to repeat them, our base assumption of unhelpful or harmful triggers emotions that inhibit curiosity and instead drive rejection.
Curiosity is Personal, it is a state of mind.
Our brain gives us “pay attention” signals when we see or hear something potentially valuable. Our cognitive function then kicks in to figure out if what we just noticed is something that will help us in our quest to be better versions of ourselves.
It starts with a momentary kick of good surprise brain chemistry; curiosity is sustained if we are intrinsically interested. Interest stimulates the reward and learning centers of the brain. It feels good, so we want more.
If we don’t perceive something as intrinsically helpful, our brain doesn’t get the same chemical stimulus to pay attention. If something is confusing, makes us angry, fearful or sad, our brain chemistry switches off curiosity, closes the brain’s learning center, inhibiting our ability to learn.
Just like the close family member instructed my wife to “think better”; leaders can’t change our brain chemistry by instructing us to “be curious”. Curiosity is personal. If someone makes you angry, bores you, has never been helpful or only talks about things you don’t understand, you aren’t curious.
In any organization, we’d 100% agree that curiosity about what others are doing, who they are and the value they bring is necessary, desirable and makes us better.
But let us look at what it takes to create curiosity.
Prior Experience in a relationship determines trust; we aren’t very curious about those we don’t trust.
Trust is essential to productive and meaningful relationships. Put simply trust is a social risk assessment, i.e. if I share information with you, will you use it to harm me, selflessly help me or selfishly help you?
If you do not trust someone or a group, say a department for example, the emotions and brain chemistry in play drive out curiosity and replace it with rejection.
The above illustrates the emotional link not just to the relationships we want, it helps is understand the emotions linked to learning and growth, and rejection.
Ask yourself the big question: What emotion do I bring out in others - then ask others!
If you bring out the "wrong emotion", then how do you work your way out of it?
Start with being helpful. If you offer help and maybe surprise someone with information, or with your behavior, surprise orients us, tells us to pay attention, peaks interest, starts curiosity. To sustain curiosity and build a relationship, keep being helpful, add a few "ah-ha moments" and the relationship will grow to bear fruit.
Co-creating fruitful relationships takes time. Individuals will always judge the social risk in a relationship based on the benefit of historical interactions. Keep focused on mutual benefit and shared purpose. Social justice and fairness are filters individuals use to gauge whether or not people use their knowledge and position fairly to listen, act and help shared purpose.
Here are our 4 questions and a guide to answering them.
If you are a leader, don’t instruct your team to be curious, guide them in being helpful to others. AND be helpful yourself.
Once relationships have grow to be mutually beneficial, curiosity will co-create further growth. People will become curious about what else you can do to help. Keep going round the loop - it feels great to be seen, heard, helped to deliver your purpose. This is where we find joy and meaning in our work.
OrgTreeMe gives your Org. the transformational means to
Connect your whole Organisation to purpose, on purpose, to
Co-create mutually beneficial practices and willing participation to
Grow fruitful relationships as the roots of a thriving business with a thriving E.EX.
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